A poem of dispair.

I wrote the following poem a while back in 2008, at the time it reflected my state of mind and although I have no recollection of how I felt at the time, I feel this poem to be fitting in relation to the current situation at home, a situation so tragic it reflects life as we see through its constant disruption to peace, to stability and to prosperity for again, it has come...

It has come

what dreadful beast
what malicious being
to descent upon ones innocent being
to be caught unawares
when time is spent to avoid such descent

It has come
It has caught me again
A game of tag, or catch or chase
It has come

Oh what to give to rid ones being of such
It blinds my eyes and deafens my ears
disillusioned and paranoid

It has come

It has come again though last I vowed
to note its approach and tame its coming

It has come
yet not for long
a lifelong visitor
known not to last

But woe for now
It has come

Piwang Ayang

Training 43.5 km

This walk took place on the Dutch Commemoration day or Remembrance day, see here. A day to remember the fallen during conflict since World War 2 and the dead are honored on the 4th of May. Writing this post also coincides with our very own SPLA/SPLM day which took place on the 16th May. See here.

 Events back home are still headed towards a downward spiral. Although an agreement to cease hostilities has been reached between the President Salva Kiir and the rebel leader Riak Machar (click here for article) it is but a first step, the challenge now is to exercise control and discipline over military personnel on the ground. Whether or not we see change on that front will attest to the two parties military capabilities that goes back decades. We continue to pray that they put a stop to the killing. 

Whats more, the threat of a cholera outbreak  threatens to worsen the already fragile environment as well as looming food insecurities as expressed better in this article here. This conflict has gravely crippled my home and unless a stop is put to the fighting, it will be a very steep slope towards improvement, one cannot help but feel let down and betrayed by the government. 

Our walk was along the coast, although windy, it was a pleasant day. There were bunkers along the dunes where soldiers hid to spy on the enemy should they attack via the sea. Those were trying times for the Dutch especially when the Germans invaded however all of that is in the past and this country enjoys a prosperity that I wish to see in South Sudan one day during my lifetime. 

Herring from the tail.

At one point we spotted a fish outlet and decided to take a break and have a raw herring. Ever since I arrived here in the Netherlands, I developed an addiction to the raw fish eaten with chopped onions. I wonder what my mother would make of it as its one of those things where you either love it or hate it as is the case with Drop (liquorish) which I absolutely despise.


At 8 O'Clock we took another break and listened into the radio where a minute of silence was undergone in memory of all who died. This was followed by the Dutch national anthem which we also witnessed as we turned the corner through a gathering of people. It was a moment of silence for the fallen in wars all over the world, past and current as well as those of my fellow South Sudanese.